Blog

Self Care is Health Care

Family Patterns

Providing transformational movement re- education for 2 or 3 different generations within the same family is really fascinating. The genetic patterning in speech as well as movement are obvious. Even pain and postural positioning is evident. I also notice that when one family member changes the others also begin to take notice, and often want to change also. Many times I have seen this happen without the others being aware of it! I also have personal experience with this. At some point a few years ago, I realized the pain I was feeling in my neck was very similar to my Mother's description of hers. I had picked up her habit of reading in bed at night without good support and alignment, as well as tilting my head slightly to the right. It was like looking in a mirror.

So I consciously looked in a mirror, and said out loud "I am not my Mother's body". This was helpful as a beginning step to releasing the pattern. As you can imagine, emotional and communication patterns are also passed down the genetic coding just like disease tendencies.

As I moved away from the pattern of pain, I would occassionally "test" it , to see if it was really gone. This is how we keep the pain alive in our body. We search for it, when we do not feel it. When we find it we say "it's still there". Then we can forget about it again for a while. It becomes a "project " in the body, Something that needs to be fixed, or worked on. We tell everyone about it... we miss it if it isn't present and look for it again.

I want to acknowledge that 80-90% of my body is very well indeed. I have overcome many different displays of attention seeking pain from my body, my inner self that craves attention. It thinks the only way I will notice it is if it's "bad" or "in pain". Could this be a result of a pattern of my Mother's relationship to me as a child? I think yes. It is very similar. I didn't really have any health problems as a child, and since my brother did, he took all my mother's time and attention.

In addition to becoming very self-sufficient, which was a direct result of my Mother's behavior toward me, I took on her pain and suffering much later as an adult, even repeating relationship scenarios that were uncannily similar.

These emotional patterns may be more obvious, the physically painful ones, not so. It may be that the physical pain that is being masked is the result of an emotional trauma in the family. When I see a family with 3 generations of neck and jaw tension, I have to wonder, "what started this pattern so long ago?" Bringing awareness into the family about how we carry forward past memories and patterns helps to let the objectivity of a situation be the healing force.

I can be less judgmental and more compassionate toward myself when I know the pain I feel is the result of a patten that was my mother's and grandmothers. And that now that I have this kowledge, it is my responsibility to change it.

For an experiment, ask you parents and your siblings if they have similar body issue as you. I bet they do. Judy.