Quieting the mind
Still waters are the deepest, and the surface is constantly moving. Often I notice my surface has been shaken by events, and feel out of control or at least out of touch with my deeper feelings. My reactions vary, but generally I withdraw. Without intention, others are affected. I feel the need to go inward, it is an unconscious need...to the safer place within me to figure out what happened before I respond.
I find that body awareness helps me to return to the present, and then my ability to express my feelings about difficult situations occurs. The vulnerability passes in time, and I can say what I need to say without blaming, judging or expecting something from someone else.
I am learning to close the gap between my offended self and my open self. There is always more to understand about a situation, and staying open to that understanding is a challenge at times. It may depend on how emotionally attached I am to an outcome, or to my own sense of value.
I am fortunate to have good friends to allow me the space and time to figure things out, and return to an intact relationship, a deeper friendship. I also have ways to build and rebuild confidence in myself when things fall apart. Hiking for a day in the woods for example. Placing one foot in front of another...this I can do! Swimming also..one stroke, another, another, another. This I can do!
As my body strengthens, so does my mind, so does my relationship with myself, and others.